This ocean is a large one. This deep blue body of misfortune, lies, and despair absorbs anyone who strays to far from their path. Those who linger on lost loves, those who can't move on, those who abuse and trick the innocent, those who regret, everyone ends up in this ocean eventually. You float for days, weeks, months, sometimes years, without a moment to breathe; you drown and sink deeper into this black, silent hell. No matter how strong your will, no matter how big your wall, no matter who you are, this ocean will drag you into its never-ending maelstrom and crush you, once you get caught in the storm there's no easy way out.
In the beginning you can hear the other people's cries, their screams of sorrow, you can connect to them and as you sob; your tears only make the ocean bigger. Those still alive, the ones with their head above the water, will always try to reach out and grab the sinking. It is in their nature to try and grasp the quickly fleeting life, they desperately need someone to grab onto before they can no longer keep themselves afloat; the sinking are the easiest prey to confide in. You throw out your hand, someone grabs it, your friend maybe, family member, your lost love, you have no choice but to feed the ocean with your grief and make this maelstrom larger. You grab on with all the strength left in your drained soul, and quickly you find that you cannot be pulled back up by anyone. After this realization you have no choice but to release that friendly, loving arm, wanting to drag you back up to the surface; the pain is too great.
Soon you stop listening to the cries of the others; everything becomes silent as you sink slowly into your own depth of this watery tomb. You slowly drain, becoming a shell, and as you cry your emotions leave you, seeping into the darkness forever. You sink farther and farther until you're long forgotten, until nobody can remember your name or reach you. Eventually you stop crying, but as soon as that happens you also stop everything else. That blank expression on your face, that emotionless body, those cold dark eyes; forever falling. You can never reach the bottom, for this ocean never ends, and it will take everything you ever had or once enjoyed.
Floating alone in this dark, silent place, you lose your way. Straying farther along the path that got you stranded in this depth to begin with. You had a life once. You had a family, you had wonderful friends who had your back every step of the way, and you even had that one special person that made you shine brighter than every star in the night sky. That light is long gone now, you can no longer remember what color it shone, how bright it was, or why it made you what it did. Those people aren't with you as you sink, nobody can reach you.
Eventually you sink so deep you can begin to find a faint light. You'll follow that light with every ounce of will you have left; you'll call out to it, remembering those terrible emotions you banished forever ago. Those tears will begin to flow again as you feel the warmth of that light on your face, and as you reach out and push through that light, blinding all your senses and making you numb and impervious to pain, you'll forget about that cold, dark, lonely ocean. Through that light a hand will reach out, there is no face, only a gentle reach grasping onto you.
You all know who grabbed onto you, who made you shine the way you did, who saved you from those depths of hell. Eventually we will all fall again though, as that person pulls us from the ocean we find ourselves falling in the sky, with that gentle light holding on to us as we fly.
We all fall.
What happens when you don't understand anymore? When you think but the answers you're looking for are no longer there? Where did they go and why? For what purpose do you now exist to serve? We are cornered with so many questions and no answers, so what are we to do? We cannot run from it, we cannot hide from it, we cannot face it. It's something that will haunt the best of us for as long as we live, and some lucky enough; not at all. Life; it's future and it's past, do you have anything to look forwards too? Do you have anything to dwell on? If you have neither, then where are you expected to go next? Socials; your Family and your Friends. Who is there for you more? If you died would you be remembered by either? If you did, would it really matter?
What do we do in this life of ours? We are trained, set with morals and principles, never allowed to stray. Our freedom is stripped from us the moment we are born, our dignity, our futures, and we are placed on the tracks and expected to run on our own. From the moment we are born we are who we are, and we can never change that, not in this lifetime or any other. We go to school, learn our now unfocused and meaningless curriculum, grow up with people we will never meet again after it's all said and done, and get pushed out the door into what we know as "Life." Why and for what purpose?
How can one so casually accept the world in it's entirety? I do not understand. You do not understand. Is it possible to grasp reality? Where do these words come from, you may wonder, but truly I am but a messenger. I know nothing, not of life, not of friends or family, not of love nor hate; no, truly I do not know anything. It is impossible, these emotions; these simple circumstances. We are taught what we know, we assume that what we are taught is true, and we forge life itself around that one fact. Truth is truth but what if it is not? If the truth we know is a lie, than surely nothing we have been taught can be true.
Understandable? Hardly, no, it is not. You and I, all of us, will be consumed and discarded, for the lucky some they will have a future filled with happiness and luck, for others it will be too much and we will be crushed by the weight of the world. We will die as unsung heroes, as people with no impact; we will be forgotten by the ones we loved in time as will all things. Time consumes all living things, it is perceived as humans as either quick or slow, but to a rock it is nothing. Time does not affect a rock, to a rock time does not exist, so how can time be true to all things? Regardless, completely off topic, this is meaningless.
No, I do not understand. Truly, truly, this life is not something I will ever understand or ever can understand, I will never grasp reality; I will live my life with one goal and one goal only... to live.
I ruin them all. :[
I've been making amazing melodies and bass lately but I keep ruining it because I have NO clue how to make an intro anymore. I'm absolutely intro impaired, I can get EVERYTHING if I can just get the intro; but if I don't get the intro I can't get anything after that because I'm so focused on being pissed at the shitty intro. :(
Throw me some tips if you will, it'd help a lot. <3
I fail pretty hard when I try to make some hard Techno and instead come out with an Ambient track.
That's basically what I'm working on right now, just some rough drafting with pads, atmosphere, FX, that kinda thing. Not sure what else to tell you guys, I don't even think anyone reads my blogs anyways. xD
Leave a comment if you're watching. :)
I've got a new track I've been working on for about a week or so, I just decided I might as well remix Alice Deejay's "Better off alone." I think it's doing pretty decently for my first remix, I've got it capped at roughly 2 minutes; the last minute is smooth and near perfect completion but I decided I'm going to change the first minute almost entirely. It may be a little while till I release it, but who knows; maybe not. ;)
The track is out, it has been out for a little bit now but I was just too lazy to update the blog. =P
As an artist, the one thing people like me require but still enjoy are reviews and advice on the things we do. If we make a song or a flash, we only really submit it because we want feedback on whether or not you like it and what we can do better; and the problem with this is that too many people don't bother to review or vote fairly on things that take hard effort and time.
I encourage anyone who reads this to start considering giving some advice to any flash or audio that you watch, especially if you're going to vote. If you can vote, you can review; that's what I say. Vote fairly on people, if it's good don't just give it a 0 to raise your submission to the top; vote what the song deserves and if possible leave a review saying what you do and don't like.
Hopefully at least one person listens to this and abides by it, artists need and love feedback. :)
I'll always respond to every review on my audio and on my blog; and for kicks I ask;
How are you all today?